first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
