I bet he comes in French.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
