If i come over, it means nothing
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
