forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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