Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
