The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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