I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
