no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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