Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
