She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
