I heard we made out
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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