lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
