he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
