I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Randomize
