I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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