Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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