They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
