Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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