"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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