just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
How external is "for external use only"?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
