Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
