Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You may now shotgun with the bride
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
