hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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