There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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