dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
