I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize