Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize