I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Randomize
