the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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