A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
