ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
