We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
