That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
