then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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