So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
