I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize