I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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