the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize
