he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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