hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
