my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
