You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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