piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
