i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I wish there were birth control emojis
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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