Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
