At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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