CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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