i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Semen is not good for contacts.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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