He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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