Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
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