My hand turned me down
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize