Screwed.edu
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
