It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
