how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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