I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
