whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
