So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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