i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
