So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
oh god the rape fog is back!
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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