dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
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He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
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Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
did you just send me my own nude
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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