Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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