So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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