At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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